every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
