just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
