there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
