My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
