Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
