god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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