Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
