My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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