32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
