i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize