why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
