I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
