ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
