one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
