So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
