But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
