is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
