your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
