Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
