dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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