Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
