i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
