I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
