You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
