Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
PANTIES FOUND
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