you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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