It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
