Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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