From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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