meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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