I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
