I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
