i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
