Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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