And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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