I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
