i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize