Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
wanna go halves on a baby?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
