i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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