She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
