So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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