i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
