We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize