I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
