I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
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