Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
