If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
