We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
