Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
