Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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