So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
