The maid of honor just puked.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
