if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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