Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
