Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
