Banned from zoo.
Again?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
There are leaves in my underwear?
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