i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize