the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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