Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize