He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
