You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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