The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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