Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
