i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
